I LIKE TRAFFIC LIGHTS . . . I LIKE TRAFFIC LIGHTS

While driving my kids to camp this morning as I have done for the past six weeks, I stumbled upon a universal truth that many had, more than likely, discovered long ago - as it is, after all, a universal truth.  But, being a bit slow on the uptake, as I often am, only today did the pieces all fall into place as the proverbial light bulb of inspired thought appeared above my head . . . much like the ARBY'S® logo of recent times has been spotted hovering above the heads of those preoccupied with acquiring the shavings from a certain processed and pressed loaf of fast-food roast beef.

My revelation was subconsciously realized some time ago, but never actually congealed itself into an actual thought . . .  until today.  What was that thought, that realization?

It was this:

"The number of red lights encountered is directly proportional to how behind schedule you are at arriving at your destination.  Conversely, the number of green lights encountered is directly proportional to the number of tasks you hope to complete while stopped at the red lights."

Today I left with the kids running just about even, with no time to spare. Normally, this would mean that I would hit every red light possible on the way to camp, robbing me of my slight time buffer and making the kids arrive late past the optimum window of physical manifestation.

Against all odds, this was not the case today and as far as I can figure it, for only one reason: I got in the vehicle without tying my shoes.  This is something I very rarely do, if ever.  It just makes me feel incomplete and unprepared.  Like the dream you have when you're kid and find yourself getting off the bus at school wearing only your underwear and shoes. The anal-retentive part of me needs to do certain things, you know, "A" before "B," at the proper time and in the proper sequence in order for me to feel comfortable and to make life roll along smoothly.  Having not taken the time to tie my shoes was not that big of a deal as I figured my sphere of stability would only begin to wobble a bit and I would not obsess and go out of my mind before I could complete the task, a task I expected to save time on by tying my shoes at one of the several traffic lights I would encounter along the way.

First traffic light:  RED.  But I was in the right turn lane and had a clear shot at turning and with traffic stacking up behind me, I had no time to tie. I had to turn right.

Next traffic light:  RED. But it turned green as soon as I stopped and the 3 cars in from of me started to pull out almost immediately.  No time to tie.  Couldn't slow the flow and upset the delicate balance.

Next two lights:  Green.  I NEVER hit these particular lights when they're green.

This is about the time that the ray of light broke through the clouds, found me behind the steering wheel and smacked me squarely between the eyes.  I could have sworn I heard the sound of a heavenly choir just begin to sing a few notes, but I was distracted from my audio apparition and the disembodied voices were quickly drown out as the kids were now asking in unison what the light bulb was doing floating above my head.

And there you have it. On a day when the kids should have gotten to camp five minutes late, I actually got them there with 5 minutes to spare. This meant no anxiety and need to rush off to their places and I, in fact, had time to lube the youngest one up with his favorite brand of spray-on sun block before he meandered off to wherever it is he goes when he first gets there in the morning.

I would have thought all these green lights to be a harbinger of good luck to come today, but it was not to be.  I must have hit every red light possible after I dropped the kids off.