Will It Go 'Round In Circles?

My kids are fascinated by the old audio tech and have lots of questions about turntables, record albums and whether the needle starts at the outside edge and goes to the middle or the other way around. After seeing me use some older equipment, my youngest thinks we should go back to cassettes and albums because they are "cooler." There's a someone who hasn't lived long enough to appreciate the wonderment of a convenience-filled world of high tech equipment.

Stop It!

We wait "in line" for various things; rides at the amusement park, check-out lane at the grocery store, getting a driver's license at the BMV. Lately, somehow it has been catching on to say, "waiting on line," for these same type of things.

Q: Who was the genius who decided to be catchy, trendy and cute by complicating our language? When I am waiting "on line" for something it is in front of the computer for an iTunes download or placing an order at another "on line merchant" NOT standing behind some other person who is waiting "in" the same line as I am.

Who Said That?

If we could communicate telepathically, do you think the voice people would hear in their head would sound the same as the voice we talk out loud with? If I don't get an answer it's going to be another sleepless night.

Hey, Man, You Got The Stuff?

On October 24, I took my son to McDonald's after his orthodontist appointment. Yes, I had a McRib, but while there we saw a fully bearded young man who looked just like the guy from a packet of Zig-Zag rolling papers . . . complete with head covering. Of course, Drew, who is 15,  was completely clueless, even after my explanation and description, but once he Googles it he'll laugh pretty hard.

Ooo That Smell . . .

A few weeks ago it finally frosted good and hard here. Ben, my 11 year old, walks outside for the bus and says, "It smells like Winter." Then adds, "I never smelled Fall." 

How About Something In A Nice Plaid?

Amish chic . . . correction, Amish lady at the Speedway last night; obviously not buying gasoline, but did saunter up to the counter with a pack of smokes in her hand, half gallon of milk and a six pack of Miller Light long necks. So I'm thinking to myself: "If she had only gotten here sooner, she could have beaten the Amish rush and wouldn't have missed out on the Yoder Light before it was all gone."

Sarcasm: Hoping You Get It

A heartfelt thanks to Karl Marx, Woodrow Wilson, FDR, LBJ, Jimma Carter, BJ (Bill Jefferson) Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama for picking up the torch of a failed philosophy and polluting the minds of succeeding generations. Way to go, guys.

This Rose, By Another Name, Would Probably Smell Sweeter

I'm thinking diabetes should be renamed "livabetes."
Sounds way more positive.

Words Mean Things

Aside from Rosie O'Donnell, when did women stopped being "actresses" and become "actors"? It's as if journalists have forgotten the distinction when writing. I am not for this all-encompassing term that does not distinguish between male and female.  We also no longer have airline stewardesses and stewards, now they're all "Flight Attendants."  I say distinction between the sexes is a good thing.  I hate the word police and Soviet-style political correctness that we've allowed to infiltrate our society.

It's Alive!

The transplant was successful and the chainsaw's cylinder has accepted the piston and rings with no signs of rejection. I also threw in a new carburetor and fuel filter, but the best part is that I had no left over parts and it runs great.

And This Year's Repetitive Redundancy Award Winner Is . . .

I saw a sticker on the pump at the Circle K gas station last night. It said, "Please Prepay in Advance." My question is: How else would I do it? I guess they've come up with  another way of prepaying which does not involve doing it ahead of time . . . like maybe afterward?

Bread & Circuses . . . Where The Bread Is Moldy And The Entertainment Sucks

Madonna for the Super Bowl Halftime Show?   Seriously?
I thought the idea was to get people to tune in or, at least, stay tuned. 

So, out of all the musical acts, past and present, this is all they could come up with?  Conveniently for her, she has a movie which she wrote, produced and directed that opens nationally two days before the Super Bowl. Nice promotion. She is also currently working on her next album which will more than likely be another smoldering turd in a succession of smoldering turds . . . like everything else she's done for the past 10 or 15 years. Some would argue, "Her entire career."

We can always hope the Super Bowl commercials will be clever and entertaining.

All Men Die, But How Many Really Live?

A friend on facebook, Annie Kay Turnbell Fredritz, from my hometown discovered she is also a direct descendant of Col. William Crawford who was burned at the stake by indians near, what is now, Carey, Ohio in 1782. Turns out we're both 7th generation grandchildren being descended from Crawford's grandaughter, Isabella Crawford and her husband, George Washington Tong. 

What I had no idea about was after doing some digging, I found another genealogy following the line of Col. William Crawford back to 1067 in Scotland to find that Margaret de Craufurd, daughter of Sir Reginald de Craufurd, Sheriff of Ayr, married Sir Malcom Wallace and had three children, one of whom would eventually lead Scotland in its fight for independence from England. His name - Sir William Wallace. Only a distant cousin, but how cool is that?

What's In A Name?

I've been considering the alleged perversion and molestation of which Jerry Sandusky has been accused of perpetrating on young innocent boys at Penn State and at his charity, The Second Mile. Seems to me it would be a lot less confusing if Sandusky had been the guy named "McQueary,"  I'm just sayin.